书包小说网

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第11部分（第2页）

He　hadnt　minded　changing　diapers；　even　those　he　called　the　special

deliveries。　He　sat　with　Danny　for　hours　on　end；　bouncing　him　on　his　lap；　playing

finger　games　with　him；　making　faces　at　him　while　Danny　poked　at　his　nose　and

then　collapsed　with　the　giggles。　He　made　formulas　and　administered　them

faultlessly；　getting　up　every　last　burp　afterward。　He　would　take　Danny　with　him

in　the　car　to　get　the　paper　or　a　bottle　of　milk　or　nails　at　the　hardware　store

even　when　their　son　was　still　an　infant。　He　had　taken　Danny　to　a　Stovington…

Keene　soccer　match　when　Danny　was　only　six　months　old；　and　Danny　had　sat

motionlessly　on　his　fathers　lap　through　the　whole　game；　wrapped　in　a　blanket；　a

small　Stovington　pennant　clutched　in　one　chubby　fist。

He　loved　his　mother　but　he　was　his　fathers　boy。

And　hadnt　she　felt；　time　and　time　again；　her　sons　wordless　opposition　to　the

whole　idea　of　divorce？　She　would　be　thinking　about　it　in　the　kitchen；　turning　it

over　in　her　mind　as　she　turned　the　potatoes　for　supper　over　in　her　hands　for　the

peelers　blade。　And　she　would　turn　around　to　see　him　sitting　cross…legged　in　a

kitchen　chair；　looking　at　her　with　eyes　that　seemed　both　frightened　and

accusatory。　Walking　with　him　in　the　park；　he　would　suddenly　seize　both　her　hands

and　say　—　almost　demand：　〃Do　you　love　me？　Do　you　love　daddy？〃　And；　confused；　she

would　nod　or　say；　〃Of　course　I　do；　honey。〃　Then　he　would　run　to　the　duck　pond；

sending　them　squawking　and　scared　to　the　other　end；　flapping　their　wings　in　a

panic　before　the　small　ferocity　of　his　charge；　leaving　her　to　stare　after　him

and　wonder。

There　were　even　times　when　it　seemed　that　her　determination　to　at　least

discuss　the　matter　with　Jack　dissolved；　not　out　of　her　own　weakness；　but　under

the　determination　of　her　sons　will。

I　dont　believe　such　things。

But　in　sleep　she　did　believe　them；　and　in　sleep；　with　her　husbands　seed　still

drying　on　her　thighs；　she　felt　that　the　three　of　them　had　been　permanently

welded　together　—　that　if　their　threeoneness　was　to　be　destroyed；　it　would　not

be　destroyed　by　any　of　them　but　from　outside。

Most　of　what　she　believed　centered　around　her　love　for　Jack。　She　had　never

stopped　loving　him；　except　maybe　for　that　dark　period　immediately　following

Dannys　〃accident。〃　And　she　loved　her　son。　Most　of　all　she　loved　them　together；

walking　or　riding　or　only　sitting；　Jacks　large　head　and　Dannys　small　one

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